Up until about the ages of ten or eleven, I didn’t want to
do anything. I didn’t want
to play any sports, I didn’t want to express myself in art, I didn’t want to
revive my brief escapade with ballet lessons; in general, I had no motivation
to do any sort of activity that could set me apart or provide an outlet of
expression. I was a lackluster kid
with a lot to figure out.
Looking
back at my childhood, I can’t help but wonder what I spent my time doing. Did I fill my time watching hours of
cartoons every day for six years?
My minimal elementary homework could not have possibly taken me so long
to complete every night. What I do
remember is rejecting any attempt to find a passion, a hobby, or a way to
express myself. First grade
witnessed a failed attempt at field hockey and lacrosse. In second grade, I quit dance
lessons. During fourth grade, I
was enrolled in supplement classes to improve my Spanish, but I joyfully
dropped those after a few months. At the time, I had only been playing piano
for several years, but I realize now that I never truly enjoyed it until I was
in eighth grade, at age thirteen.
As
I recall my undistinguished childhood, I almost cringe at the monotony of my
previous life. Now several years
older, more specifically a junior in high school, I have experienced the
stressful, yet exhilarating experience of juggling so many extracurricular
activities that my head felt as if it were about to implode. In a matter of six or seven years, I
have crossed from one extreme to the other, from living a generic life to being
able to express myself in numerous activities. On a quotidian basis, I channel my longing for success and
achievement in my work for school; I liberate my stress for tests and deadlines
when I run on the track each day; I release all of my emotions through my hands
at the piano every evening after everything else has concluded.
Without
these aspects of my busy life, I cannot imagine what my time would otherwise be
occupied with. I find outlets for
expression in my activities, not because I would detest sitting at home with
nothing to do, but because I love what I do. I have found what unlocks the door to my emotions and keeps
me in check with the world around me.
Many people, like me, have it figured out by now; they know what exactly
the basis of their expression is, like discovering the power source of an
electrical outlet. After the plug
fits into the correct outlet, all of one’s expression, or energy, is channeled
into the body, giving it reason to continue putting forth effort in anything
and everything.
I
believe in passions, in activities, and in discovery. I believe that without something by which to express one’s
self, life can become desolate and confining, or bland at the very least. I believe in finding what makes the
body and mind run, and pursuing that passion to no end.
